Lord Norton Tribute

A Tribute to Lord Norton My Special Buddy for Eighteen Years

There is, incidentally,no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. -Dan Greenberg

Finding Norton

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. - Anonymous

I wasn''t looking for a cat the morning Norton came into our lives. My wife Lynda and I were near the end of our morning run in a semi industrial wooded area near the river when Lynda heard animal noises....a whiny crying sound almost like a baby. The sound drew us to a nearby tree where, about ten feet off the ground, we found a wet disheveled small cat who upon seeing us approach came down the tree to greet us. I snagged him and held him up for examination. He seemed healthy and because he was so friendly we assumed he had been abandoned. We had seen other abandoned cats in the area.

Lynda said we had to take him home. I said I'm not carrying him the two miles home. We began running and discussing the ethics of leaving Norton when behind us we heard that plaintive mewing. We stopped, looked back, and he was following us.

At home we gave him a good bath. He was full of fleas. This was the only time of perhaps a dozen or more times when we bathed him when he was compliant. Later, the vet would tell us he was about 7 mos. old.

Naming Norton

I began the search for a proper name. I made a list of about 80 names. Then my friend John, a cat lover, said he had a list of names as well and suggested Norton from Ed Norton of the Jackie Gleason Honey Mooners; a funny character full of wit and charm and down home. Everything I wanted Norton to be.....except according to the cat naming suggestions by T.S. Eliot, he needed a secret name as well.   So not to insult him (being a superior being) by calling him by the name of a famous NY sewer worker tv character....I appended LORD and he became Norton to the world but Lord Norton as the master of our royal hovel.

Norton Becomes a Member of the Family

We had an older small dog a Toto- like wiry haired Yorkie mix who was not affectionate toward Norton....but Norton in his infinite cat wisdom accommodated Sammy in a display of such unfeline magnanimity we were smitten. Norton let Sammy eat his food, pick out first choice on our bed where each of them slept at a corner unless Sammy was snuggling with Lynda. Occasionally Norton and Sammy would square off usually over food or space and Sammy would bare her teeth and snarl. Norton would usually stand his ground until Sammy calmed down and/or left. The few times they tangled Norton would bat Sammy with a lightning quick left hook but NEVER with claws extended. The mark of a true gentleman?

Over 18 yrs Norton became a fixture in our family and exhibited his unique style and personality. Here are some aspects that we both loved and hated. We found early on that he was an indoor/OUTDOOR cat and there would be no confining him to the prison of our house. We lived on a narrow street but with a large open park in the backyard. In the early yrs he would spend most of the night indoors . When he went out he liked to get up on the roof. We would hear him thunder across the roof as if he were doing African drum beats for our entertainment. For a long time we could not figure out how he got up on the roof. Then one morning I happened to be standing in the front of the house where we had a screened in porch and I saw this furtive slinking panther using the branches of a tall cedar tree like a spiral staircase to the roof. Shortly I heard his trademark thundering as he raced across the roof. What was funny about this was that he never came down the same way. He would end up at the back of the house and begin mewing loudly until we came to save him which for awhile meant me coaxing him to jump down from the eaves about 5 ft into my arms. Later he mastered the most incredible catobatic trick of jumping down head first, repelling against the wall then landing feet down on the narrow cement pad adjoining the ten steps up to our back entry porch. Yes, we were alway astonished if we were blessed with a chance to see a performance of the Flying Nortolini.

Roaming Charges

The vet we took Norton to for his detesticling told us that a certain percentage of male cats do no lose their hormone fueled impulse to roam and extend territory. Norton fell into this category. Over the years we heard reports or saw him blocks away from our house.   One summer on an evening walk we heard loud cat yowling that my wife thought sounded exactly like Norton. How she could distinguish? I was skeptical. But without hesitation she began calling his name in a semi quizzical yet scolding tone. Within 30 seconds we saw movement at the end of the driveway where were standing and who comes loping/trotting down the driveway toward us but the Lord himself.

Our neighbor who has a job that calls him out in the middle of the night called regularly to report sightings of Norton between midnight and 4 AM. Most notable was his penchant for returning home trotting down the middle or near the curb of the main street leading into our residential street. Of course it would be lightly or little traveled in the middle of the night .....but still....such arrogance.....such style....such verve.....what a character!

Another aspect of this was his practice several times a year always in nice weather to disappear for a day. We would realize we hadn't seen him for hours that someone had let him outside and then we would begin worrying. As it grew dark and he hadn't appeared for his evening meal we would begin fantasizing him trapped in a garage or shed or of course the worst seeing him like we've seen many cats flattened and lifeless matts of hair like cow patties in the middle of the road. In his case he always appeared and we were always grateful if not ecstatic to see the Bad Boy.   Complicating this was an episode when he was about 5 when he came home and was very sick.   The vet thought that he had been poisoned or possibly ingested anti freeze. His kidneys were failing. Did we want to have him dialyzed? Yes. We thought it was hopeless. The vet thought 50/50 chance. We were sure he was being optimistic. If you saw Norton....you would cry .....as we both did. Taking him to the specialty clinic I talked to him, we sat in the parking lot for a few minutes I said goodbye told him he had been my best buddy all the time he'd been with us. I choke up as I write this.

The next night we went to visit him. It was like feline ICU. He had a drip and perhaps other tubes in him, he hardly acknowledged us. We went home heart broken.

The next night, prepared for the final goodbye we entered the ICU and found "booger brain" (one of my pet names for him) standing up meowing and looking absolutely normal.   It was like the proverbial miracle healing. He came home the next day. A year later the vet said his kidney function was normal. We never knew the cause of his illness.   He had been ill other times.   Once over a week Lynda would have to carry him to the basement to use the cat box.   After each illness he would seem to become more affectionate. When we first got him, he didn't like to be held for more than 10 seconds. Now he liked to be held and would spend longer and longer periods on my lap (which was one of my favorite pastimes). I called it reading with Norton. And the best part of this was when I would set up pillows on the couch to rest my legs in an elevated position. Norton would appear and recline on my chest where reading would periodically morph into meditation (napping). This became a regular afternoon program after I retired in 2006. It may be my favorite memory of him. It was intimate, sensual, and I must add had the dimension spiritual communion.

Going for Walks

We used to take our aging terrier for a walk every evening. Somehow Norton decided he wanted to come along. Yes, I had tried to train him on a leash once or twice. Big mistake. You've heard about herding cats? See what happens when you put one on a leash. So, on his own Norton would follow us down the street but not on the sidewalk like a "normal" being would traverse. He would dart zig zagging across the street into back yards and we would only see glimpses of him (if we were lucky). Then at the end of the street which was a very busy thoroughfare that paralleled the river we would turn right and then right again into the block size park that our backyard abutted. No sign of Norton usually until we would get about half way down and then we would turn to look for him and see him sprint full stride like a cheetah in the hunt. It was perhaps the most beautiful memory I have of him in full wild cat splendor. The climax would be to have him either come to a full stop right at our feet or buzz by us full speed and then amble back to us.   He also walked with us a few times in our new neighborhood but we ended up having to carry a wildly squirming beast back home because we were afraid of him running in traffic. This was before we found out about his midnight meanderings.

Other Eccentricities

Even in the coldest days of winter Norton insisted on going outside. We would worry a bit especially if he was out at night and we had gone to sleep. He solved this problem. If he decided not to respond to my calling out the back door, "Norton, last call, Norton, (times ten) goddammit, last call ".   For many years no matter what season if he was out late at night and we were in bed, he would hop up on the outside ledge of our bedroom window, squeeze his butt against the window and with his back leg hammer an incredible rendition of a jazz drum roll. It worked every time.

Games

Monday, June 10, 2013

Tribute to Lord Norton